he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it glows. i had to have it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize