i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
