You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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