No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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