i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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