I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
