just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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