Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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