I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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