walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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