hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
