i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
