That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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