He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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