I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
