I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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