found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
ttyl tear gas
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
