big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
