what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
