I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
