The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
