But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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