I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
