Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
