I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
