How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The adults are the big ones right?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
