yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
