So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
