awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
