Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
