mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
