Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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