you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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