just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
