watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize