Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
