i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
