paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
