That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
