Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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