YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize