Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
