i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize