i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
