i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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