My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
