Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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