Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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