Grow some girl-balls and come out already
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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