areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
