Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
