Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
