i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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