Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
