I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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