I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
