i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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