He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize