OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
this will be a night to untag.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
