OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
