I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
