you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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