her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
