so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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