So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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